The protagonist is feeling tired and stuck in a repetitive and secret affair. He wonders if this situation scares him. He feels like his life is like an onion, with many layers that are being peeled away, and he feels exposed and vulnerable. He feels like he is being left out in the cold by others who want to take advantage of him. He wonders if this feeling is something that has always been a part of his life. The protagonist is observing others in a room and feels uncomfortable and out of place. He feels like he is stuck in a cycle that most people cannot understand. He feels like the environment around him is toxic and makes him sick. It is too close to him and he wonders if he can escape. The protagonist feels like he is stuck in a repeating pattern, just like the layers of an onion. He feels like he is being left behind by others who don't care about him. He wonders if this situation is something that has always been happening to him. The protagonist feels like he is just observing life from a distance, feeling like he is on a stand, not really a part of what is happening. He sees the world around him getting worse and feels like he can't do anything to change it. He tries to find comfort in something, but it's not enough. The tide is high, meaning that things are getting worse and he feels overwhelmed. The layers of his life, like an onion, are being peeled away, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. He feels like he is being left out in the cold, just like the vultures who wait for something to die. He wonders if this feeling of being stuck and used is something that has always been happening to him.
